Watch me burn..

Ankhon se un ko bahaa jo diya humne

Ye daawa hai dil se nikaal bhi diya humne

Ye gumaan hai ke ehm nhi hum un ke waaste

Un ke gumaan se khud ko, magar tabah kiya humne

Ab bhi osi manzil ki justuju ka hisar hai

Jis ka raasta hi muddat se chor diya humne

Apni anaa ke bar-khilaaf, apne ghuroor ke tazad se

Apni zaat ko un k aagay bichcha diya humne

Ye kesa karwaan guzar gaya hai ranjish ka

Un ki yaadon ko jab nzr-e-aatish kiya humne

Rabiya kyun-kar keh doon wo nhi mujh main shamil?

Ke un ke ehsaas ko apni rooh main basaa liya humne

- Ms.Shehab

Helpless

*she bursts into laughter* shes laughing so hard her eyes are watery. Shes laughing because shes tired of crying and everything, absolutely everything seems so hilariously against her that she can't help but laugh on herself, on her fate and on all that is happening to her. She pauses to think "pehle ati thi haal-e-dil pe hanssi, ab har baat pe ati hai" and this made her smile even more broadly, thinking about the only other person who would be smiling at this idea, but no! not anymore! Shes not gonna hurt herself anymore, she not gonna bother about anything anymore, "I mean honestly! Why the hell should I storm my brains when the other person is proving out to be so cold and so indifferent? and what was it again? "I was busy all along." Sure you were busy, even i don't have all the time in the world to sit around and trouble myself over these things (though it was proving to be pretty difficult to lie to herself because deep down inside she knows well that, it was the only thing she did all the time, while he was away) Yea so thats about it - I don't care anymore"

Shes broken as hell "It was only a freakin word, you could've said it! It would have wasted no breaths of yours! Just a small 5 letter word of affection! What harm would that have done except putting a mere smile on the lips of the woman you apparently love? or simply given her hope?" and then on the spur of the moment it struck her, like a ray of sun making its way through the tiniest of the cracks in the woods and enlightening everything that lies beyond; hope is the last thing she should be carrying with her in this matter, when there is no practical possibility of her beautiful beautiful fantasy to turn into reality as yet, and the less she hopes the less it'll hurt her, so that was the only reason why he held back and hurt himself - of course what could be a punishment worse for a poet to not express his poem with enchanting words - and he took this torment upon himself to ease her suffering?.. She helplessly fell of him all over again with affection ten times stronger.

Speaking Silence..

They're silent not because they don't have anything to say but because they have so much to say, they don't know where to start from. She is staring ahead and she knows that hes staring back from somewhere far beyond her horizons, from behind these veils of distance and a surge of uncertain thoughts ran through her head, "Does he want to talk? Is there the slightest bit of a something that he might be wanting to say? Is it only me or is he as restless? Does it matter to him as much as it does to me?" She cries his name in a bare whisper and stretches out her hand. She wants him to listen, she wants him to understand the unspoken, shes aware that he has the potential to, he has been doing it for a while now. If only they could tangibly be in the tender presence of one another, how different the world would seem, how many more colors that would add to the universe or would the addition merely be to her perception? Shes not sure, shes not sure of anything anymore owing to the drastic turns her life has taken in these past couple of months; it was like some revelations of realizations have descended down upon her from the heavens above, but shes even not sure as to take these as a blessing or as an encumbrance, for shes convinced now that ignorance, by all definitions is indeed a bliss, and once out of this bestial, yet protective obscurity, there is no going back, and now shes out.

One thing she can say for sure now is that there is nothing like being sure. She has experienced it all her life and this time it has hit her in the face, in the most substantial of its forms that every time she convinces herself of being sure of what is going to happen next and the road ahead seems smoother than a glass surface, she begins to accelerate, just about then there is always a speed bump waiting ahead. So yea coming back to the point there is nothing like being sure, and shes sure of it!

With the stampede of all these thoughts she is still staring ahead at his immovable, representative-of-his-presence face, and though there is a tug-of-war going on inside her between wanting to say something out of love and fidgety and holding back due to a number of complicated reasons the most prominent of which being that she doesn't want to hurt him even at the cost of her life, and she knows, the more they converse, the closer they get (if getting any closer was possible) and in the long-run more it'll hurt; there was still a sort of solace in her heart, knowing that he is there, even if not actually there, but in someway, shes reminded of the very beautiful lines of the song "Iris" that they once shared "I give up forever to touch you, cause I know that you feel me somehow.." She smiled and at that precise moment he went away, and though her heart downed with his departure, she felt like they shared a goodbye moment with those verses. So she went back to doing the only possible thing she could do, wait..

Jaana..

Dheere dheere aashna hone lage, tou yun lagta raha 
Chaar din hain mohobat ke, guzarte jaa rahe hain

Zara se jo maraasim barhe, hum ne jana 

Aap chaand, hum aapki chandni hote jaa rahe hain

Rafta rafta maraahil jo aatay gaye 

Dil ghabraane laga ke faasle hote jaa rahe hain

Shab-e-hijr jo yaadon main katt rahi hai 

Andhere ye aankhon main utarte jaa rahe hain

Wo aap ki hansi, wo lehje, wo kuch toote jumle 

Ab bhi mere kaanon main gounje jaa rahe hain

Yun mehsus hone laga hai, manzilon ko chor kar 

Hum raaston pe dar-ba-dar, bhatakte jaa rahe hain

Ab tou karam kijiye, ab tou zara pukaar lijiye 

Ye lamhon ke daaman warna, simat-te jaa rahe hain

Ab ke JAANA mere sabr ka aazmaa na kijiye 

Ke jate jate hum jaan se jaa rahe hain..

-Ms.Shehab

Faiz Ahmed Faiz

Guloon main Rang Bharay Baad-e-Nobahar Chalay

Chalay bhi aao Ke Gulshan ka Karobaar chalay

Qafas Udaas hai Yaaro!! Saba Se Kuch Tou Kaho

Kahin Tou Behr-e-Khuda Aaj Zikr-e-Yaar Chalay

Jo Hum Pe Guzri So Guzri Magar Shab-e-Hijraan 

Humare Ashk Teri Aaqbat sanwaar chalay

Muqaam Faiz koi Raah Main Jacha hee Nahin

Jo koy-e-Yaar Se Nikle Tou Soy-e-Daar Chalay...

Fallen Angel

The light is so dim, and this stinging silence? In addition to the feeling of falling from the sky into an abyss, with no wings to resort to, "So the God is indeed mocking me?" she thought to herself, and a bitter smile crossed her lips. Her three biggest fears right in front of her altogether. She had not yet recovered from this stupor and yet another reality suddenly struck, hollowing her insides and she looks in all directions as if in search for something, rather someone. She has always had her greatest enmity with solitude, she needs someone to help her get out of this mess. In a state of utter bewilderment she reaches out for her cell phone, and goes for the contact list to acquire company; for she is aware that this new found solitude, more than anything else, will reduce her insides to nothingness, and she needs time - ah time the cruelest and the most merciless of all intangibles - to turn this collective excruciation into something to gain out of; her contact list being in the alphabetical order revealed the first name and she couldn't help but let out a spontaneous laugh and think "Sure this deserves to be on the top - be it the redwood top or the sky high."

A serene smile caught her and now she was certain that God, indeed being the creator of all the diversities, has his extraordinarily unique ways of testing each individual according to their respective depth. If she, every time, runs into what she is actually trying to run away from, owing to mutual conclusion with her sole mate, that the harsh pen of fate has not written it the way she wants; then maybe she should re-think because, this too, is fate that is making her run in a circle, and extremities swing both ways. If she thinks that the pens of fate are staggeringly harsh, then maybe shes forgetting that it may, at any time, swing to the other extreme or maybe it is actually destined to swing the other way and the current calamities are mere tests of their determination or strength or whatever it is that God wants to test to which human wit cannot even reach, for it is also God, who has promised the sweetest of all fruits to the one who is patient.. with this thought she fell calmly into the arms of a more relaxing consciousness..