Dilemma Of Luv

Har raasta bhi kuch raha mushkil

kuch manzil bhi meri mere pas na thi

shikwe na shikayat na koi gila

kismat hi zara apne saath na thi

sukoon talab hai is talaatum ke baad

meri kashti ke sahil pe muddat na thi

kis qadar be-bas hoon tere zulm ke aage

qabal kabhi be-basi ki ye shiddat na thi

tum pe kese dharoon ilzaam bewafai ka

tumhari fitrat se kab mujhe waqfiyat na thi

main is liye bhi zyada meherbaan rahi

mohobbat main aitedaal ki qail zara na thi

tumari khala, tumare mousam, tumara zamana

meri bahar ko is main kuch mouhlut na thi

maine chaha buht ke na chahoon tumhain

mere ikhtiyar main magar meri chahat na thi

khud apne hi teer se ghaayal hain rabiya

khudaaon ki tou pehle ye aadat na thi

- Ms.Shehab

Reality of Fear

Fear is merely a state of mind. One who has anything to lose, has the fear of losing it and when theres nothing to lose, theres nothing to be afraid of. The most fearful person is he, who has the fear of losing that which he doesn't posess but values, it gives a combination of the fear of losing and the insecurity of not posessing. The former because one makes unspoken commitments and the latter because one is afraid that somebody else might get steal it away.

Fear is not that of dark, but of the unknown. People are not afraid of speaking, they're afraid of contradiction. One is not fearful of trying again but of getting hurt again. Sometimes we're not afraid of asking, but we're just afraid because we know the answer and dread it. One is never afraid of loving, but of not being loved back. Though all my life I accepted it for a fact but I've realized now that I'm not afraid of height, I'm just afraid of falling, and I'm not afraid of confession because I know my truth, and that I am speaking and portraying it at all times.

Spring Breeze

There she sat by the open window, and though shes there with 40 other people and a voice sure is falling on her ears but shes far far away in a parallel universe, looking out the window at the distant horizon eastward. A flow of cold spring breeze touched her face blowing her hair backwards, she helplessly smiled in the most helplessly sorrowful manner for she is reminded of a verse of an unknown poet

"jo zyada yaad aaon main

tou tum ankhain bandh kar lena

jo chal jaye hawa thandi

samajh jana ke wo hoon main"

Sitting there with her eyes glowing with memories she felt old, much older than her chronological age and she thought "Sometimes age comes without wisdom, and at times wisdom comes a lot before age."

Staring at the distant horizon with the slight cold spring breeze blowing she missed someone so bad that shes paralyzed; can't speak, can't move, can't breath, can't even shed a tear.

After what seemed like ages she raised her sight a little to look at the sky, the blue covering is itself covered with white cotton-like clouds today. She took a deep breath, smiled again, shed a tear or two and spoke his words aloud "we're under the same sky..."

Smothered

“Can’t you see that you’re smothering me, holding too tightly, afraid to lose control” (Linkin Park – “numb”) You sure are protective of the persons you love but don’t take away their space, every person needs a space around them, that shall not be and not tried to be penetrated unless the person wants you to, because doing so without their consent is as much assault as anything. Love is taking care of someone, being protective, possessive and careful but in the end everything you want matters less than anything your beloved wants. Love for a living being – particularly human – is not decorating them on a shelf in your house like a pretty decorative-piece, so you may look at them each day, and make sure they are alive, safe and in front of you; and how would you define “alive” anyway? Does alive mean merely to have a pulse and breath? To have one’s vital signs working? Theres a difference in "being alive" and "living" and you sure as hell don’t want you loved one to be “alive” but you also want them “to live”. You cannot tie them to a string and let them lose as far as the string allows, on the contrary Love is to let your beloved free, let them where they want to be, where their happiness lies, give them their space, privacy and let them decide their priorities; you cannot dictate them, “Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.” - Eleanor Roosevelt and no one have any right to take away anyone’s individuality.

Coming to the second point of concern (for someone who will never bother to read this but I wish someday, when it doesn’t even matter anymore, when its way way too late to un-do the damage, they would read this) Love, does not depend on your mood, when you love them, you love them; though theres obviously no hard-and-fast rule but it is for sure not possible to claim to love someone and then not be in a mood to care about their happiness, rather it is to sacrifice your wish, comfort and want for their happiness.

It is better to let a person die than forcing them to be alive on your conditions, and knowing that they’re merely alive.

"Maine chaha androh-e-wafa se chootoon

 wo sitamgar mere marne pe bhi raazi na howa"