Death

The people you hate most are the beloveds who die. You hate them for leaving you behind in this ugly pit of a world. You find them selfish because they escaped from their troubles, selfish and cowardly. You envy them because they migrated to a better, more peaceful and less complicated a place than the one you are in. You hate them because you miss them, you miss talking to them, you miss hearing their unique voice, you miss having them around and the granted feeling you had because you thought they will be around forever or at least you weren't ready for them to leave yet. Because it never occurred to you that there is no "forever" in here. You hate them for dying. Most of all you hate them because you can't stop loving them and the gap just wouldn't fill. Lastly you hate them because you know that time will eventually numb the pain and sweep you into sweet oblivion but that is not what you want either, you love them so aggressively that you want the pain to stay - again - forever and every passing moment that dulls the pain leaves you feeling guilty, insensitive and conscienceless.

Faith

Doubt is a cruel cruel pit, the deeper you go in, the darker is gets and the farther it messes up your mind along the path.

When you or anybody for that matter sows the seed of doubt in your head; everything you come across on the relevant subject will seem in compliance with your doubt and it'll be impossible to get rid of with reasoning.

The only thing that can free you of doubt, ripping it's very roots out and liberating your mind of it is un-con-ditional faith, the faith where you no longer question the subject because you believe in it's truthfulness with all you heart.

If you love a person, do not be so unfair to them as to doubt them or their object towards you because any relationship demands patience, a butt-load of tolerance and trust; with trust being the golden word. If you trust them, know that even though sometimes they will ignore you, hurt you beyond measure, squish your care right under their foot, test your patience and crush your expectations, they love you in their insane, twisted manner and you knew what you're signing up for when you decided to be with them and this is the time to deliver. In happy times everyone can stick around, but what makes you a solid partner is when you not just bear through their ugliness but also learn to accept it and lead them through it with undying persistence, not forgetting the good in them and be able to forgive them completely, i.e not thinking of getting back at them later or hoping that the bigger power will punish them for it, no! Completely forgiving them, not keeping any grudges.

Believe me if you do this, it'll pay off in ways you can't begin to imagine because the divine power is not unjust. Also if you channel sincerity, it'll come back to you; as they say "What goes around, comes around".

For all this and everything that requires patience and perseverance you will have to change your way of dealing with things, you need to adopt the attitude that says, "If it's malfunctioning, you need to get around a way to fix it, rather than just getting yourself a new one".

Rubik's cube

Life and all the problems within sometimes seem to me like a Rubik's cube, where in order to bring all the similar colored blocks together, you must first scatter all the blocks around creating utter mess; and amid this mayhem, eventually, given your patience and perseverance everything will fall together in perfect harmony. Stay put. Do not lose faith.

Allah Loves us all

Allah loves us all. We measure religion in terms of heaven and hell. Are we –the civilized society of the twenty first century- so primitive to think that religion is that limited? That we imagine Allah merely as punisher of our sins or rewarding of our virtues.

In a very basic naïve perspective it may even be true but only when you want a two year old to stop stealing or lying. According to very accepted Lawrence Kohlberg's stages of moral development only a child (implying a morally immature individual) would do or not do an activity based on the consequence -reward or punishment respectively- attached to it. However a morally developed person would weigh things in a more mature manner.

You must not fear Allah in the sense that if you do something impermissible religion wise, He’ll draw you into a skewer and grill you alive over a fire which is much fierce than the worldly one. You must fear him as you fear hurting a beloved.

I remember once when I was deep into the pit of misery my father told me that he loves me more than the sum of all the love of all the people in the world and he cannot see me upset, and even though he loves me that much, there are something he can’t fix for me, but what I must know is that Allah loves me 70 times more than he does, so obviously Allah wants to see me upset even less, and luckily for me, He can fix absolutely anything. That it is only Him who loves me so utterly unconditionally to grant me all the good and forgive all my bad if only I truly ask; which made me realize how much I love Allah.

I love my father more than I can love any person in the whole wide world, and if there is something I’m not supposed to do, something that might upset him, something I know will hurt him. I will either try not to do it or if being a typical human –slave to me desires- I go ahead and do something wrong, I will be sure to keep it from my dad for the fear of upsetting him; not because I’ll be fearful that he would grill me alive (even if he could).

I’m not comparing human love to the divine one, I must not, I cannot. The point I am trying to make is that we must love Allah beyond all possibilities of love and therefore try not to do anything sinful to make sure we don’t let him down. Because in Allah’s case we don’t have the option to sin anyway and just make sure it stays hidden from Allah. He is omnipotent. He is omnipresent. He is infinite. And He loves you very much.

Hope

Kuch keh saka nhi os se main magar

 Kal raat dair tak roya buht hoon

Bataya nhi ye maine inteha ki hud tak

Kis tarha ose sirf ose chahta buht hoon

Ye sarhad, ye bandishain ye hudood meri

Par karta nhi in ko takrata buht hoon

Yun tou maine kabhi paya hi nhi os ko

Har roz magar zindagi khota buht hoon

Juda karne ko os ne kaha hum faqat dost hain

Chup tou raha main dil main hansa buht hoon

Is qadar qurbat o faasle ne cheer diya mujhe

Faasle se nez qurbat se darta buht hoon

Roz deta hoon khud ko hosla, roz samjhata hoon

Roz jeeta hoon main har roz marta buht hoon

- Ms.Shehab