Rubik's cube

Life and all the problems within sometimes seem to me like a Rubik's cube, where in order to bring all the similar colored blocks together, you must first scatter all the blocks around creating utter mess; and amid this mayhem, eventually, given your patience and perseverance everything will fall together in perfect harmony. Stay put. Do not lose faith.

Allah Loves us all

Allah loves us all. We measure religion in terms of heaven and hell. Are we –the civilized society of the twenty first century- so primitive to think that religion is that limited? That we imagine Allah merely as punisher of our sins or rewarding of our virtues.

In a very basic naïve perspective it may even be true but only when you want a two year old to stop stealing or lying. According to very accepted Lawrence Kohlberg's stages of moral development only a child (implying a morally immature individual) would do or not do an activity based on the consequence -reward or punishment respectively- attached to it. However a morally developed person would weigh things in a more mature manner.

You must not fear Allah in the sense that if you do something impermissible religion wise, He’ll draw you into a skewer and grill you alive over a fire which is much fierce than the worldly one. You must fear him as you fear hurting a beloved.

I remember once when I was deep into the pit of misery my father told me that he loves me more than the sum of all the love of all the people in the world and he cannot see me upset, and even though he loves me that much, there are something he can’t fix for me, but what I must know is that Allah loves me 70 times more than he does, so obviously Allah wants to see me upset even less, and luckily for me, He can fix absolutely anything. That it is only Him who loves me so utterly unconditionally to grant me all the good and forgive all my bad if only I truly ask; which made me realize how much I love Allah.

I love my father more than I can love any person in the whole wide world, and if there is something I’m not supposed to do, something that might upset him, something I know will hurt him. I will either try not to do it or if being a typical human –slave to me desires- I go ahead and do something wrong, I will be sure to keep it from my dad for the fear of upsetting him; not because I’ll be fearful that he would grill me alive (even if he could).

I’m not comparing human love to the divine one, I must not, I cannot. The point I am trying to make is that we must love Allah beyond all possibilities of love and therefore try not to do anything sinful to make sure we don’t let him down. Because in Allah’s case we don’t have the option to sin anyway and just make sure it stays hidden from Allah. He is omnipotent. He is omnipresent. He is infinite. And He loves you very much.

Hope

Kuch keh saka nhi os se main magar

 Kal raat dair tak roya buht hoon

Bataya nhi ye maine inteha ki hud tak

Kis tarha ose sirf ose chahta buht hoon

Ye sarhad, ye bandishain ye hudood meri

Par karta nhi in ko takrata buht hoon

Yun tou maine kabhi paya hi nhi os ko

Har roz magar zindagi khota buht hoon

Juda karne ko os ne kaha hum faqat dost hain

Chup tou raha main dil main hansa buht hoon

Is qadar qurbat o faasle ne cheer diya mujhe

Faasle se nez qurbat se darta buht hoon

Roz deta hoon khud ko hosla, roz samjhata hoon

Roz jeeta hoon main har roz marta buht hoon

- Ms.Shehab

Walk back

If I could go back tonight

I’d go back a year or two

I’ll relive the charming dawn

Of the day I came across you

I’ll let myself fall over again

I’ll see my eyes clear and bright

I’ll see a smile in them

And lips a shy bit slight

I’ll track myself down to the sorrow

When I cried from morn to night

How all was lone, so dark and strife

I’ll see how I fell out of life

And as I look down that road

I know it pretty I’ve seen the pain

I know all the highs and lows

I know how it leads far to the bane

But if I’d go back tonight

I’ll go all the way through

I would not change a thing, my love

For this love so painfully true.

- Ms.Shehab

Apology

You have destruction potency in you, a potential to be vile, and vicious, pure evil. You know they care of you, you are aware of it as perfectly as you are of you pathetic existence. Seeing that they care so utterly and so completely you hurt them, you hurt them just because “you can” merely, solely because you have the authority to. Now to feel dominant, now to feel important and now just to know that you have an impact on them; it like bleeding just to know you’re alive. You tread over their –however ridiculous- sentiments and practically feel you false vanity surfacing. This vanity, this hollow vanity of your very superficial personality, however insignificant it may be, serves the malicious purpose it set out to, it crushes the very heart of that naïve, ridiculous creature who intended and rightfully acted in every manner to serve you, to give selfless care to your unbelievably unfair being. Moreover the recognition of this extravagantly hurtful fact horrifies them to their pitiful soul causing every nerve to get alert still not of aggression but of the humiliation of such a confession. Furthermore it troubles you not one bit rather becomes a source of a guilty pleasure, immediately causing your defense mechanism to come into motion and bring forth a ready-made justification based on “reason” disregarding “feeling.”

Nevertheless on this emotional deathbed they seek not a justification of your conduct but simply an honest apology. And once you actually see this from behind your façade blinds it may seem a very easy way out for yourself and ironically may not satisfy you.